Friday, January 19, 2007

I'VE MOVEDDD ON!!!!

hehehe, no no..shahandfira is still a thang~..but the thing is, i hop into the bandwagon when I was in Kedah doin my internship..Shah is based there so do d math why i decline all d great offers from great companies to serve a small company and based in kedah.so we practically lived together..hey!!different house but same taman ok!i'm in d condo, he's in the terrace house..and it's kedah for pete's sake, u must be crazy to attempt 'pengkesedudukan'...i am a private person, but i love to boast to d world about my love,bleyy??..so,there u have it,this page...but, after i finished my internship,there's nothin to boast about, as we seldom meet due to our commitmentssss...last last, aku sorang je mengomel citer pasal aku yg plain jane ni...so i guess i'm gonna stop here, and continue this blog, when shah and i got married,as a celebration of our love till death do as apart, and a gift for our generations,for them to witness the embodiment of a true love,and as the proof of an existance of a once great true love...eyceywahh~~~!!

"sayang, till death do us apart, and in heaven u'll have my hands to"

"kalau kita tak kawen, harap i boleh jumpe u balek 'di sana' nanti"shah once said to me out of d blue,and it made me cry...*cryy

till then, PEACE OUT!-

Make love,not War
-29 Zulhijjah 1427-end of another year, a beginning for something great,ensha Allah

p.s:: yes,i have a new blog..a blog where i can be anonymous so i can realllyy really speak my mind, so u ppl cant judge me...In your Face!!

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Firash winks
at |5:54 PM|

Sunday, January 14, 2007

ahhhh result dah kuar..alhamdulillah, elok result gue,walaupun missed target by 0.07..takpelah takde rezeki,insyaAllah rezeki tu kat tempat lain slb ke?..kenapa i diam je?sbb malas nak cerita ape ape..karang bercerita ade je golongan PHDperasaan hasad dengki yang buat mission kan?drpd i bg uols buat dosa bermission, baik i tolong uols kurang kan dosa,kan?

so ape updet?tade ape, duk rumah bina badan je...ari ari, tido>bgn>masak>house chores(laundry je,kemas rumah,akak i terer.*matila malas kemas rumah katanya)>bittorrenting tu sajork..tak pi shopping pun..malas nak bergerak...bile im in melaka, i'm very homely,i guess sbb rumah melaka ni resort style, so seronok rilexin rilexin*cover line, semakin gemuk...my mom je lah, born n bred kl girl, yg balek kl evyweek..so duk melaka lame lame, nanti die pening..hihi.. contoh situasi,minggu lepas...thurs:akak bgn tido kul 11 call mak akak tanye diamana;"mak kat Shah alam"..akak pun pi shopping siang tu,balek malam,mak akak dah tido...esoknye:akak bgn tido kul 11 call mak akak tanye dimana "mak kat midvalley"..akak pun pi shopping balek malam, mak akak dah tido juge...yes, she can drive by her own,dr mana datg nye kemachoan akak,of coz lah dr die..die dah biase independent lady, since zaman kerjayanya(tp takleh lupe bile driver die tertinggalkan dia kat RnR lepas amek die kat KLIA,kecoh satu melaka).ahahahah

so my shopping hanya dijalankan earlier my holiday,di mana i had a lavish weekend escapade di bukit bintang, dan brangan kaya,naik taxi pun premier,dah gile ke?..tp worth it la untuk menghilangkan stress setelah saya exam SEPULUH subjects. *&^%*()$$%..pastu duk rumah diam diam..sampai la d day kuar result... sebab terkilan missed target by 0.07,akhirnye i kuar rumah bersohping mengubat hati yg lara bersama my oldtime bestfriend,cik nazihah...ai telah meroyan kepada die,membebel sbb result menghampakan sedikit, lalu die mengajak i shopping to nurse my broken heart katanya...aaa, akak kalau dah terstart shopping,abes laa,..sejak dat day, 3 hari shopping berturut turut....terpaksa tip-toed masuk rumah, sbb takut kene jerit dgn funder ayah...yesterday;

scene baru sampai rumah dr shopping,emak jalan terkedek kedek nak cpt bukak pintu sambil muke senyum simpul
emak: uuuuu shopping shoppinngg(mata tertumpu kepada bagsss)
me:ayah mane mak?mate melilau datinnnn, i telll u!!kasut ai belii cantik takk??
emak membelek belek hasil 'tangkapan' dgn girangg..
tiba-tiba

"HAH!SHOPPING LAGII??""
akak terus pecut lari naik atas masuk bilik, bile dgr mcm bunyi petir..biarkan emak akak take over..chihihi

on friday, naz and I had our dinner kat dis korean restaurant yg baru bukak nih..TMM katanya, tourist kan suke dtg melaka yg historical ni, so melaka not dat bad lah kalau pasal international hospitality nak nak bile naz ni asyek la pomot ikan bakar bawah kerajaan negeri tu...and korean fud itu SANGAT SEDAPPP!!!lg sedap dr kat kerinchi punyee..mine was, bulgogi chicken ape nta, naz punye aku akan igt sampai mati, bibim bap chicken..hahahaha...malam tu akak takleh tido,mengenangkan keenakkan makanannya..aku mmg pencinta makanan,namun ku bukan beruang..hehe..rase nak pegi lagi esoknye..doaku termakbul, bile emak akak suh bawak anak kawan die ni jalan,namenye ialah "COMEL"..hehe taklah, nurharyanni, tp mmg dipanggil COMEL oleh her family, since we are family fren yg rapat,so terpanggil die comel juga..so,aku pun tanpa resentment, dgn rela bawak die kuar, walaupun terpaksa bgn awal..si comel ni, richie rich katanya, takleh kuar cm normal teenagers..unless akak or driver die or senang citer trusted ppl of her parents la yg membawanya...die citer, kawan kawan sekolah ajak die kuar actually, mak die tak kasi,as usual..pastu mak akak lak pi bergayut dgn mak die malam tu,pi kasi idea untuk die jejalan dgn akak..haih!tp takpe, i rela, sbb dpt pi serang korean restoran itu..tp yg lagi best, auntie ani,mak comel tu, kasi duit for our outing..si comel ni letak lak purse die dlm handbag aku, die kate"amek je baper baper dlm tu"..lagi la seronok gue..~~hihihi...tp ape pun, akak mmg suke melayan comel nih, die matured for a 15 year old girl, tak vain and berangan..hihi..and shooping ativiti berjalan lah,of coz..lalala

so, about my future career lak, well i got numbers of offers..including MAS..MAS so far offer gaji paleng tinggi lg tinggi dr petronas sikit..tp all those offers aku reject,pastu lament around ckp takde duit kan..ntah la, malas betul...nanti aku cakap korang ckp aku berangan, tp i dont have d heart to work at all unless if it's petronas or slb...reason being, im very commited to wat i really wanna do..tak suke hop sane hop sini...i like to have it a home-run..cam lev life aku gak laa,biar dipukul badai tsunami banjir kilat pun, akan ku teruskan jua..persistance katanya..i hate failures, so i hate doing sumthin yg for kejap kejap ni...lagipun,akak penat dah belajar 18 tahun non-stop..akak january intake i.e akak dipilih masuk UTP mase form 5 lagi with trial result..tahun tu pulak SPM lambat abes sbb raya,so tak sampai sebulan akak kat rumah, dah kene belajar,akak igt lagi mase tu akak tgh beraya kat rumah auntie,adek akak call cakap dpt offer..ihh choi!tak sempat nak bersuka ria..bulan 5 kwn2 akak celebrate d joy, dpt masuk uni, akak dah passed the time and tgh FINAL EXAM,bleyy??..result spm pun akak tak dpt nak amik dan lompat-lompat di hall sekolah, ade mid term test katanya..kejilah, kalau bukan pasal petronas sogok akak dgn skolershipnye,neverlaa aku mengorbankan mase bersuka ria dgn belajar kan...so knp akak nak tunggu slb or petronas jer?reason for petronas;sbb saye dah bonded for 10 years, so tunggu 6 bulan pun, still akan keje gak kan...just d matter of waiting sajork...reason for slb; sbb im not d office type kinda girl,, i like to get dirty, i like keje susah, i like keje tgh panas, i like guna spana,ketuk sane ketuk sini, luke sane luke sini..i love challenges, belive in me, i can do anything...at home pun, i do the cookings, the laundry, the light bulbs, sampaila the repairing..and etc shah baru terer how to ganti disc brake keter,akak sgt berharap dpt belajar nanti...for those yg kenal akak, taula wat are my capabilities, and during my internship, u have no idea what i did, sampai dpt title kerbau...chihihi..lagipun mak akak kate"awak dah tentu dah ade keje,it's either slb or petronas,just d matter of time, tunggu jelah..jgn kacau rezeki org,kasi peluang rezeki tu kat org lain"..so she said it, akak anak yg obedient katenye..hihi

so ermm, bile lah gaknye slb nak panggil ai neh...anfaal(who works there) status akak umpama, nak pegi bercuti, dah sampai destination, dah turun plane, skang nak cek imgration je..begitulah analogy nye...skang ni nak tinggal jumpe manager of dept yg akak telah di identify kan tuk pegi...kalau die berkenan dgn recruiters nye choice, dapat lah akak keje tu..kalau die feeling competition dgn akak,terpaksa lah akak cari stage lain..mrasa!!haha..tp ayat tuk sedapkan hati, akak the only CIS(computer and information science) yang berjaya ke final stage ini..dan among 254 candidates,yang CGPA melethop pun ramai,excluding me,yang CGPA 4FLAT pun ade, gile ke budak tu?,all in all, tak sampai 20 pun dpt pi last stage ni,,so arap arap akak tak akan disia-siakan,ucapan untuk slb,"anda takkan mampu untuk melepaskan permata ini"..wahhh feeling ANTM katanya!!..hehehe

oklah, asar pun dah, akak igt nak tahan air wudhu sbb zohor td lambat kan*oops..tp nampak gayanya akak dah tak tahan nak kencing,akibat makan petai jeruk byk sgt..hihii,walaupun akak born and bred di england dan bandar,tak penah gi kampung dan mmg takde kampung, nenek akak pun pure kl,akak menten suke petai,jering,cendawan kukur etc.tp petai and jering and ikan keli tu akak baru pikap mase intership kat kedah,tu first time i duk kampung life,and i loveeedd it!!first time pi kenduri tepi sawah, makan lauk kenduri ikan kering bagai..walaupun panas,tapi akak suke life sane..host kenduri:"awak ni org bandar, tp pandai makan ikan kering ni ye"komennye,setelah akak bantai 3 pinggan..org dah abes makan akak tak abes lagi...tp ikan keli akak leh makan setengah je, dr dada die ke kepala, akak maseh takleh makan,akak tgk pun takleh sebenarnye,tp akak pure pure tak nampak,and pegang ujung jarije..tp balek utp, akak menten makan ikan keli ari-ari..sedap skalss!!tp stgh je, so how??cume durian je akak takleh pikap lagi...bukan feeling omputih,dah cube byk kali, tp tak boleh laa,d nearest i cud get is tolong kopekkan durian, akak kan kuat cam kerbau..hehhe..ok ppl..toodless~~~

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Firash winks
at |4:40 PM|

Monday, November 13, 2006

exam fever~~~

tema berangan sem ni:
COMPUTER GRAPHICS A
ACCOUNTING A
COMPUTER NETWORK MANAGEMENT A
JAVA B+
PROG 1 A
COMPUTER AND INFORMATION AGE A
HUMAN COMPUTER INTERACTION B+ (ye tau ni paper senang, tpi coursework dapat35/30 je sbb tak dapat dtg satu lab sbb sebok FYP,trus hilanG 8 percent, bleh??)


UPDATE 13/NOV COMPUTER GRAPHICS 9-12
hah paper stressful mcm ******!!!bleh jawab sumer tp stressful nak mampus!!..tambah dgn pressure nak dapat a, sbb coursework 47/50..sgt bersusah payah sem ni untuk dpt coursework setinggi itu walaupun subjek paleng susah, tp lecturer sgt baik, die beria-ia aja sampai faham, walaupun sumer muke ternganga dalam kelas..mind u bebudak multimedia, ini bukan CG macam korang buat, ttba leh jadi animation..ni CG gune hardcore OpenGL, nak buat line pun, coding sampai 2 page..it's coding plus add math yg dah tingaal 5 tahun..aaaa.sgt stressful ok!!markah 4 je, tp jalan kerja 3 page..bleyy??tak sempat nak tgk org sebelah lansung... 3 jam menulis,berfikirbagai nak rak, dan mengire mcm dah gile...soalan bukan memory dumping lansung..sumer berfikir..so disebabkan ai stress buat final tu, ai trus pegi shopping untuk menggembirakan hati~~ttba, ai main angkutje 3 org classmate CG ai,yang tak bawak duit dan ic untuk bershopping,cik aida,zubyye and midah..sorry girls, dah u ol tumpang i pegi exam,trus tershopping skali dgn i..yea memule nak lunch je kat ikan bakar,tp maseh stress walau dah melakntak..so tanya my girlfriendswat to do nak menggembirakan hati..berfikir tuk 5 saat..ttba 4 org serentak "shopping!!!"..hiks, gol & gincu sgt kan??..lalu, bergegas ke lah we all pergi bershopping di tgh hari weekday..so hasil shoppin itu, ai boughT myself a bag,soooo glamorous,wellat least to me..it's gold sling bag with manik manik, very the liz clairborne katanya..i'm so liking it!first lay eyes, trus jatuh cinta, trus berangan bimbo paris hilton, tanpa berfikir panjang,"i want dat bag!"katanya kepada salesgirl tu...mrasa i feeling feeling paris hilton text ayah "today's paper is so stressful, soi have to get myself a bag"..i HAVE,katanya!!..tu manipulation sebenarnye, sbb nanti duit i abes, ayah i bebel..tp kalau i cakap awal awal kene spend sbb sumthing stressful, nanti di kemudian hari duit i abes, ayah i tak bebel, sebab kesian his lil princessstress..hiks!gelak gelak cumil...oh!,my pdaphone also dah dapat new house, its furry furry flowey flowey!..yay!!takdela case die leather lagi, baru nak girlish, taklah maskul sgt..hihi

front:


back:


glOrtho(0.0,1.0,0.5,0.0,3.0.0.5)-pandangan jauh in OpenGL:

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Firash winks
at |8:25 PM|

Monday, November 06, 2006

setelah berakhirnye segala test ke projects, assignment , class sumer..aku cam dah blank ape nak buat, walaupun final exam next week...so let's see some random picturess...


melantak kat satu gerai kat aloq staq...best..makan best, pastu kat tepi sawah lak tu..haih, rindu nak pegi kedah..1st time duk kat kampung....suke environment kampung..ai takde kampung, tak penah tinggal kat kampung pun...datuk nenek ai pun rumahnye die petaling jaya, dekat assunta hospital tu..jiran die,org austria..kampung ke tu?


scenery di office mase intern, bile dah abes field work, and bile boss tade..nyiahaha


ni le keje aku mase intern, panas~~~~penat~~~~~asyek cari signal yang main nyorok nyorok, suke hati die nak lari mane, pastu aku gak susah nak kene alih balek antenna tu, choi lah!!..dah la arituh besday shah, aku dah plan surprise dinner dgn die kat restoran berputar menara alor star tu..


kelam kabut akak, siap kan bunge, merasa aku nye clerk kene buat OT, tlg buat kan bunge, leyyy??


di sini lah dinner ittew, at the end of it, f&B manager tu bawak keluar lighted up cake untuk shah surprisely(aku dah dtg siang tu kasi, hehe)..




shah and ayah, golfing..


si hussin, butler setia aku kat madinah hilton..aku suke air fresherner custome made tuk hilton je,tanye die leh beli kat luar tak,die kate tak,tp die gigih kasi,hihi..dat's in front of our royal suite, besar nak Mampus!..tan sri mohd kate, leh main kasut apek(heelys) dlm tu..chihi..

ok!,mud study dah datang...mari study JAVA!!!

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Firash winks
at |9:52 AM|

Monday, October 30, 2006

chan~~~~kita bersiaran dengan sunglass besar bonda..gittew

selamat ari raya to all, taqaballahu minna wa minkum..ape nak citer ari raya?biaselakan sumerang pun same, bezanya kuih buat, lemang buatm dgn kuih tunjuk dgn lemang tunjuk la kan..chihi, of koz, family i tidak ketinggalan untuk tunjuk menunjuk ni..hiks..then pagi raya bonda gue, kejut meracau racau, kate dah lambat dah pagi raya ni, suruh mandi turun makan sumer, ai pun kelam kabut lah..rupenye rupenye baru pukul 5.50 am, bleyyy??mrasaaa, sahur di satu syawal..then, ayah ai pulang subuh dr masjid, we all pun makan la juadah raya,(motiff juadah?)...pastu gi mesejid,

anak anak hj zul


dgn jaja, my good old friend,buat medic kat gajah mada, mrasa arituh earthquake naik plane TUDM, mriah~~dpt berangan belakon hollywood...hihi


family pixies di masjid ayah..


ayah dah tak tahan lapar, mak gigih suruh sumerang take family pictures, mrasa ayah buat pose protess katanya..hihi


ayah dan ibu~~ayah dan ibu~~ itulahh permulaan kami~~(lagu arwah sudirman)


yaaa, prop kita tahun ini, garden table..hihihi


outdoor 2006 family pic

ayah tunggu anak anak turun mintak mahap, bleyy??anak anak terlupe, dah naik atas dulu nak salin costume baju

motif sape suh ko dok russia?skang merasa menangis sorang sorang time raya..


seb baik kau kawan lame aku, kalau tak ai dah letak phone ni, ai nak nak pegi kutip duit raya lah~~~
sejurus kejadian banyak sgt kawan kawan ai mengadu domba tak dapat raya di kampung halaman, brangan nak raya dgn snow, i trus off phone seminggu raya, la la la..hihihi




eh, iklan petronas katanya!!ayah jgn lupe pakai lampin tau!!,brani kau nak dinch ayah kau jadi kuncing kurap dah tua nanti?den tak brani doo, merasa den tak dapek harta dio nanti..*oops matila munafiq...


ape motif gambar ni?nak bodek bawak balek utp ini?:





rase rase nye, kalau ai bawak ferrari merah ittew atau porsche itam ittew, pak gad nak saman ai tak?





aahhh, niece ai buat protess, ai lari dulu naaa~~~

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Firash winks
at |12:04 PM|

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

ahhh penatnye saya~~~,

harini hari yang paleng fully occupied, not even single hours left with no work...first of, i have java presentation at 9 am, well it was simple, sbb subject budak 1st year kan, pale into comparison dgn aku budak final year nih, the presentation went well, in fact we got extra marks sbb gune advance features..that were not done at all by the others, the lecturer pun impress, and tanye ade belajar ke pasal JSP before, i said, only learned trough the net since the past few weeks..then at 12.30 have an interview with halliburton, a postpone interview actually..halliburton called me for an interview last week, in kl..there were also other interviews invitation, but all 2 were in kl, last week..i have to decline..because it's in kl, and i'm just to lazy to allocate my time for just interviews..cheyy,diva kan??hihi..so besides those 2, halliburton also called, again i decline, reason being, i;m too busy with my studies..so this halliburton ppl, Mr.Patrick, said, he will re-arrange the interview in UTP,for my convenience..waa cehyy, diva lagi..so tadi was my interview, it had to be today, i wanted to postpone, sbb ade 2 presentations today, but, the HR people will be only be today, sbb kat utp ni halliburton nye office only RnD...oh well, takkan nak berangan diva lagi, so interview je lah..it was not that formal, and Mr.Patrick was a very friendly man, he's a golfer too, when he noticed that i'm a golfer for my state, he said"oh, if u are hired, maybe we can go for a round or two"..hihi...i wanted to say that there's a possibility that i might be hired, because he already mentioned the starting salary, which is wayyyy more than PETRONAS,almost the same as technip and schlumberger..la la la..he did mention also, in one month time,if there's no respon from petronas after i graduated, call him..ahah!is dat a job offer coming to my door?fred, to put too much hope, biyaq pi laa~~~..insyaAllah..ahah, talking about petronas, Mr.Khairul, from PFK, informed that my resume are already in PFK's HR..fuiyooo, very unexpected, i just had this 'berangan' to work in PFK, just so i won't have a long distance marriage with shah as he is working in loq staq, and i have no heart to work in KL, as KL tempat aku berak kencing bagai, so nak la venture into new places, and cheaper of course, biyaq banyak cash, jgn banyak hutang..hihi..alhamdulillah, rezeki bertambah baik nampaknye sekarang ni, hope it continues to ebcome better and better day by day...zalina, my long lost good friend, pun dah forward my resume to her manager in carigali..dalam banyak banyak, takkan satu tak mengena kan, harap harap begitulah..insyaAllah..

so after the interview, my Final Year Project presentation pulak..it went well also,harap harap dapat A..insyaAllah..ahh lega, sumer kerje dah siap, skang boleh concentrate raya, and final exam, yay!!alhamdulillah..

ppl asked, why i have been so murah rezeki, senang saje, live life to the fullest, lepak lepak, dan whatever shit comes in your way, jgn melatah, dan always look at the bright side..org kate, lagi banyak bende terjadi,lagi banyak bersabar, lagi banyak rahmat Allah..sbb, rezeki tak datang bergolek kan?mesti la nak kene test dulu, tgk camne, baru tuhan nak kasi kan?..so itulah..my misi kehidupan, rilex saje, org kacau kite ke ape ke, rilex saje, mmg rase unfair, tp ape nak risau,Allah kan ade, kite rase saket hati siket at one part, nanti kite akan rase senang hati yg amattt sgt at another part...setakat sekelumit flaws tu, tak jadi kudis pun...kuasa Allah lagi besar to overcome those nuicanse kan?..berdoa sajalah, kalau aku salah, Tuhan tunjukkan lah, Kalau aku tak salah dan teraniaya, my prayers not to hurt those ppl, tp murah kan lah rezeki aku dan org yang menyayangi ku..miahahaha..rilex sajork, no big deal...yang penting, bersyukur dan redha...amin~~~~

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Firash winks
at |3:41 PM|

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

do you believe, kalau niat kita baik, ikhlas dan murni, betul betul pure, and you have been good,Allah akan buka jalan, no matter how?....aaa,menyingkap misteri ramadhan katanya..hihihi..so last sunday punye tazkirah ramadhan, ustad dawi cakap pasal zakat fitrah..katanya, selagi tak bayar zakat fitrah, selagi tu puasa pahala kite, tergantung antara langit dan bumi..so jgn tunggu sampai last day ramadhan baru nak bayar zakat..then in my heart, terfikir, has my dad bayar our zakat?..at the same time ustad dawi cakap"aa scholar pun baru masuk, yg dah besar besar ni, belajar belajar lah bayar zakat sendiri, tak usah susahkan ibu bapa, zakat hanya 4.50 di kariah utp..makanan sehari pun lagi mahal dr tu..yg perempuan kalau tamau bayar zakat, cepat cepat la kawen"..pastu i was like, eh girls leh bayar zakat sendiri ke?i thot mcm dependent kat ayah kan..so right at dat moment, i'm determined to bayarkan zakat for my whole family and hope dat my dad havent paid them yet...i've always love doing something for my parents...

Back in my school years in a boarding school, we have to wear a court shoes to school, feminity lah konon..so i had this one sembonia shoe to wear, and i wore it sampai bertahun, dah koyak koyak, still, aku staple kan join die yg koyak tu..to me it was no big deal,sbb tuk pakai gi sekolah je pun, beli cantik cantik buat ape karang aku gune tuk berlari ke dining hall jugak kan.. baik bagi duit tu tuk aku shopping foods,back then scarcity sgt foodskat stf(still are,hihi)..till my father came to visit, it was a weekday, sbb die ade meeting di JB..so he met me in my school uniform, he saw my stapled shoes, and tanye,"eh dah koyak, d u want a new one"..i declined the offer...he came again a few weeks later, after a meeting, asked me again the question..i still declined..and i went up to my dorm, i saw him wiped his tears waiting at the side of the volvo..i didn't know why, it's either die kesian tgk kasut aku koyak rabak, or maybe he was touched i didn't want anything from him and i just made do of whatever i have, hence die terigt mase die kecik kecik dulu..he was very poor back then, die kene jual kuih, and dapur rumah die masih tanah and his school's short was made from sack... when i was small, everytime i wanted something, mase tu, cam grand gile LUNA color pencil. he would remind me he only had a pencil from std1-6,when the pencil became short ,up to a point u can't grip it anymore, die sambung dgn cover pen..sedih kan?he always remind us to study hard, and die takde harta nak pass down to us so dat we will live in wealth after he is gone..so raising us being educated person is the only 'harta' he will pass down to us..

his mother, my grandmother,always tell me his story, that they were very poor, and my dad has always been very ambitious, when he got 1st in class, he would come running looking for my grandmother in the dusun, and said"nanti dah besar,zul buatkan mak rumah batu"..and now, he did, he made a big white bungalow for my grandmother..but too bad, after few years, my grandmother became very ill to live in the big bungalow alone..so in a nutshell, i was raised to not to live in wealth, and independent, and whatever i want, i must work for it..and i have always wanted to serve my parents, can't wait to work so, i can give them some money, although setakat celah gigi je comparing to what they are earning..rase nak buat kan them a big bungalow, although i might end up a bungalow that is sized to my bedroom je..nak give them good cars, although they can buy a better car than i might afford to offer them..tp, dat's the idea kan?to balas jasa...bile dah besar ni, aku seboleh boleh nak serve my parents..i remember, this one day, my dad wanted a chicken burger,we were at Medan Gopeng..tp siang siang buta mane la nak carik..the car key was with him...so tamo bagi die tau aku nak beriye gi carik chic burger for him sbb of cos die cakap, "aa takyah lah".. i walked around to carik jugak chic burger tu, which was like 500 - 700m away..he said apsal lame sgt, i cakap ramai org..hihi..moralnye disini, aku mmg sanggup buat ape saje for my parents and my sisters..this semester, i promised my mother i want to pay the road tax...my mother kate ade duit ke, i cakap ade..tp duitnye will come from aku berikat perut la kan, makan megi je...sbb, my PDAphone buat hal balek, i did not ask my father to reoair it for me, alhtough he did offer, i said it was nothing and minor, i can pay it on my own..but truth is, it was HUGE amt of money..so, baruuu je monday tu, credit card aku dah abes bayar, because of that stupid PDAphone ..but then again, it was fine and i am willingly glad to do pay the road tax, sbb dapat kurangkan burden...

so anyway, balek pade cerita berzakat dan kebesaran ALlah tadi.ape motion nye?aa d u believe kalau niat kite ikhlas dan murni, and u have been good,Allah akan bukakkan kan jalan kan?..so during this Ramadhan, i took the opportunity of the devils being locked up, to be as angelic as i can..because there's nothing can influence me now, and i dictate my own personal being..alhamdulillah, i went to the masjid almost everyday for almost every prayers, and try to be as baik hati yang mungkin,preserve my aurat as preserve as i can, talk and think as nice as i can..all in as sebaik muslim as possible..and i'm liking it..hidup semakin tenang and serene..and i hope, by being as i am trying now, after Ramadhan, i'll keep on being this way..i dread to make any sin, because as a girl, my parents are responsible to all sins i make..dah la my siblings are all girls, if we get married, all our prayers for my parents, terhalang oleh our husbands, x pegi directly..so mase tgh bujang ni is the chance i can pray for them, and kalau ade dosa, doa tu tergantung di langit saja..:(..and god forbid, if they are not here anymore, i don't want, because of me, my parents will be punish dgn azab kubur yg maha pedih..sob sob..i learned that, even if they are dead, and i'm still alive and still making sins sebesar zarah pun..they will kena also..tidakk~~~

so bile aku dapat tau, girls pun leh bayar zakat sendiri, i trus call up my dad, cakap this year i nak bayarkan zakat for the whole family..it was 4.50 per person, ape lah sgt kan, duit tu untuk ke jalan Allah jugak...tgk wayang, shopping and et.c lebih dr 4.50 boleh pulak kan? my dad puzzled, he was like "heh, betul ke?".he refused the offer, but i insisted, he said dat, cam inmorale sket lah, aku belajar lagi, he's earning takkan aku nak bayarkan.. kalau nak, aku bayar sorang je lah..aku agreed..but still tak puas hati, i wanted so bad to serve em..so i told him i want to pay for my sisters as well..so he will only pay for my mother and him je..he reluctantly agreed..so the next day, monday, when i'm about to drive to the atm, nak mek duit bayar zakat kan..my mom called, i told her i nak bayar zakat for the sisters, my mom cakap"alahai, susah susah je, biarlah ayah pay for u, afterall ur elaun money, is from ayah jugakkan"..hihi, yela skoler aku tak masuk lagi, so, duit die la kan..i was like, a lil down, sbb tak dapt nak use my own earning to pay d zakat kan..suddenly!right after i hung up d phone,dapat msg from student support services to collect cheque, elaun my contribution mase convo tu..


aaa, alhamdulillah!!!see, tu satu proove yang Allah akan bukak jalan for anything we do kalau ikhlas and jadi baik..i was so happy ...and trus call my mother cakap i'm gonna pay the zakat from my own earnings..hihi so, tak jadilah bayar monday tu, sbb nak menghalalkan cheque tu dulu...

and today, i went again to the atm, and the cheque dah clear, so i withdrew some money, to bayar zakat..and then, tgk my balance, memandangkan aku sonok dapt cheque, aku asyek soping saakan la kat pasar ramadhan kan..hihi..pastu dah terperasan, alamk terlari budget sket, nak bayar road tax nanti...tp, tak kire nak bayar jugak zakat..so dah withdrew, pegila masjid for kuliah zohor and solat zohor kan, kirenye lepas semayang trus jumpe amil nak bayar zakat lah,..then abes je semayang, check hp tgk ade msg..dr student support services jugak, suruh dtg ofis collect elaun lagi, this time for dinner petronas yang i wrote an entry bout it tu...aaaa, alhadulillah lagi..rase terharu sgt..Allah dengar hati aku, well HE always do..tp rase sgt tak larat, when HE vividly shows how much HE loves me..sob sob...both of the allowances i didn't expect it..coz i just wanted the certificates to penuhkan my clear folder..haih, maseh lagi terharu dgn kebesaran dan kasih sayang Allah s.w.t...so dgn gembira dan excited nye aku bayar zakat for my sisters and I..



when i uttered "inilah wang bagi menggantikan beras fitrah yang wajib atas saya dan tanggungan saya tahun ini kerana Allah" i felt this chill down my spince, and hidung aku yg selalu tersumbat and my lung dat can except too much air, trus rase ease to breathe..hihihi..the feeling is undescribeable...one, i felt great, i have contributed a lil for my parents,although just tiny miny compared to what they have done and can afford..two, i have contributed to my fellow brothers and sisters to have a better aidilfitri, and hope wit lil money i gave, their aidilfitri would be more meaningful, and last and foremost, i felt soooooo greattt, that this time i have contributed a lil that i have ke jalan Allah yang diredhai...alhamdulillah... and with hope, segala dosa my sisters and i, akan diampunkanNya..aminn


"Ambillah sebahagian daripada harta mereka menjadi sedekah (zakat) supaya dengannya (zakat itu) engkau membersihkan mereka (dari dosa) dan mensucikan mereka (dari akhlak yang buruk), dan doakanlah untuk mereka kerana sesungguhnya doamu itu menjadi ketenteraman bagi mereka. Dan (ingatlah) Allah Maha Mendengar lagi Maha Mengetahui."
(Al-Taubah -9:103)

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Firash winks
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